


The Diet Coke Bet

by MadDramaQueen



Series: Adventures in the SortaMalicious MadHouse [12]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Diet Coke, based on Ryan's twitch community, but I am on Team Pepsi, madhouse chaos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-28 20:04:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7654795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadDramaQueen/pseuds/MadDramaQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone knows how awesome the Mad King is. <br/>But, with me, I think he's very special. Especially when he has his Diet Coke moments. <br/>He can find a Diet Coke almost anywhere!<br/>So, we put this to the test.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Diet Coke Bet

It was lunchtime at the MadHouse! And boy, was I hungry! Some like to play with fire more than others, which meant that we had to give Jess lots of room when she cooked. Like, the whole kitchen. 

While I was making cheeseburgers for some of my Vagabond friends, a very disgruntled Ryan came trudging downstairs. His hair was all over the place, his clothes a little wrinkled and his crown a little crooked. 

"Hello, Ryan! How's your day going?" I asked, flipping the burger patties over in the pan. 

"Need a Diet Coke. Can't talk now..." he muttered as he slowly made his way to the fridge. Well, he had his own fridge dedicated to the wonder that is a Diet Coke. Unfortunately, he was running low. He opened the fridge to find 5 cans of Diet Coke in there. He grabbed one like it was his last and started to drink it like he was parched in the desert. After his final gulp, he gave a sigh of relief. 

"Thank goodness. I needed that." Ryan smiled. 

"Are you okay, Ryan?" Fallz asked, sitting at the table with her 3DS, silently raging at some rhythm game she's playing. 

"I'm fine, my dear. I just needed a little pick-me-up and Diet Coke always seems to do the trick for me." 

Joe opened the Diet Coke fridge and looked inside. "Hmm. It's almost empty. What're you gonna do about that?" 

I groaned. "He won't have to do anything. I'm gonna have to go to the store and get more for the house. You guys drink it like water sometimes; I swear!"

Ryan chuckled. "Well, it is the popular drink of the MadHouse. Though, some of you prefer regular Coke or Pepsi instead. And I am okay with that. But, if you think that's the best drink ever, then you are sadly mistaken."

Lotti laughed and lifted her Diet Coke can in the air as if proposing a toast. "Team Diet Coke, for the win!" she exclaimed and clinked cans with Ryan. I rolled my eyes at the sight and starting plating up the burgers. 

Cheryl was thinking about something as she sat and waited for her food. I knew this could only end in disaster. "Say, Ryan. What would happen if the Diet Cokes weren't in the fridge? Could you find them if they were...say...under the bed? Or behind the TV?"

"What? Like an Easter Egg hunt? I'm sure I could. Just don't have Jess hide the cans like she did this year. That wasn't a very safe game, now was it?" Ryan asked, scratching the back of his head.

I handed out the burgers to my friends and started fixing my own. "That would be super hard. Finding Diet Coke cans? With you, that's like some sort of spidey sense for caffeinated goodness. You probably start twitching and stuff when you get near one." 

He just shrugged and got a bag of chips from the cabinet. "I mean...you're not wrong." He used the reflection from the microwave to fix his crown. "I have enough Diet Coke in my system where I can pretty much find them easily. But, uh, let's not test that theory, shall we? I only have so many cans of Diet Coke left. And that won't even get me through the whole day!" 

"4 cans won't get you through the day?! Jesus, man! How many cans do you drink a day?" Fallz asked, and looked about ready to throw her 3DS out the kitchen window. 

"8? 9, if I'm having a good day. Well, I'm going to go back in my room to play video games. I might spend some time with my good friends, the Hooks in DBD. Need to level up my killers. Now if you will excuse me, murder calls." He rubbed his hands together and laughed evilly before heading back upstairs. 

I almost dropped my plate from giggling so much and sat down with the others. "You know what? I'd like to see that."

"See w-? GOD DAMN IT!" Fallz exclaimed as she threw up her hands in frustration from failing at her game. 

"Ryan find a Diet Coke that's not in the fridge. It's almost impossible to do, but I'd like to see him try."

Omega looked at me mid-bite of his burger like I was crazy. He swallowed what he had and replied, "Um, impossible? You're talking about the Mad King. Nothing is impossible to him."

Lotti giggled and took a Diet Coke from the fridge and handed it to Omega. "Why don't you hide it, then? Give Ryan a challenge."

"Oh, I'm not gonna do it." He slid the can across the table to me. "She is. You think it's so impossible, Tabby? I want you to hide it. I bet he'll find it."

I smirked. "A challenge, huh? Okay. I'll do it. I'll hide all of them. And I bet he won't find any of them. When it reaches room temp, his sense just shuts off. You watch." 

Fallz shook her head. "You doubt the Mad King's addiction to Diet Coke. I am disappoint." 

Omega chuckled as he stood up and walked to me. "Oh, Tabby, Tabby, Tabby. You do not want to make this into a bet you can't win."

I put down my bacon cheeseburger, and stood up, matching his height. "Don't worry, buddy. This is one bet I know I'm gonna win. He might love his Diet Coke, but there is a limit. And I'm gonna prove it."

He thought about something for a second and then smiled innocently. "All right. If he finds all 4, you are going to give Ryan your Just Dance games to lock up for a week."

"WHAT?!" I exclaimed. 

"Ooooh. Get rekt, Tabby." Lotti looked at my face of horror. One week without Just Dancing?? But, I'm JustDancingQueen! I make videos on the Internet about this! But, if I must, then I must. 

"All right. Fine. Fine. That's fair, I guess. But, if- er, _when_ I win, you're going to test out all of the new security that Ryan has installed in his room. Soooo, you're gonna steal his crown." 

Lotti was excited to hear that. "I heard that he's installed laser beams that can kill you with one touch. Can't wait to see you try to get past those."

Omega looked confident enough to accept, but I could tell he was a bit nervous. I've told him about the last time we've tried to take Ryan's crown, and that didn't go so well. Even with his added shenanigans, I thought we were gonna die!

_YOLOOOO. JUST DO IT...._

Cheryl looked up from her food to see the MadHouse ghost floating above her, holding a 3DS of his own. Probably playing Pokemon again. "Hey, Ray! What's up?"

"You guys always seem to get yourselves into situations where you might die. I admire the bravery. Means I don't have to do it myself."

Cheryl chuckled at her ghost friend. "You can't do it yourself, anyway. You're a ghost!"

Ghost Ray looked at himself. "Huh. Would you look at that? You're right! All the more reason for you to accept this bet and see what happens. I could use a laugh. And someone to hang out with. Omega, you in?" 

"To die? NO. To prove Tabby wrong? Hell yeah! You've got yourself a bet, TabiKat." Omega shook my hand and we knew the bet was on. 

"I hope you're ready to lose, Omega. I'm gonna have a Just Dance marathon when I win. You'll be dancing and ducking past lasers." I joked. 

"I'm just gonna hang around here and see what happens. I'll be the travelling audience to this Vagabond circus. But, there'd better be no clowns. Keep those creepy assholes away from me." the MadHouse ghost added. "Yo, Cheryl. Mind if I hang around you? Omega and the Katz are gonna face the wrath of the Mad One, and I'm not in the mood to see blood." 

Lotti giggled as the Vagabond and her BFF were chatting it up. She almost wished she could have a ghost friend to talk to. But, if Omega and I weren't careful, it was going to be one of us. 

\--------------------------

The first hiding.

We were in the MadHouse garden. The typical place to hide things, because this is where we have our Easter Egg hunts! The Caretaker Flora looked content as the garden was in perfect condition. No litter to be seen and the flowers looking beautiful as ever. And we were going to hide a Diet Coke in it. 

"Now, where could I hide this?" I asked myself, wandering around the garden with a Diet Coke in my hands. I couldn't find a decent place to hide this stupid can. It would stick up automatically and be way too obvious! Until, I had the best idea. I'd hide it right by the Caretaker Flora. 

"Hello, there. Could you try to hide this for me, please? It'll only be for a minute. Just try to keep it hidden from your Master, okay?" I asked the flower as I stroked its stem and gave it a hug. The Caretaker Flora smiled at me. I guess it approved of my antics. The flower used its leaves to pick up the Diet Coke can and hid it high up in the leaves of a tree. Totally hidden, can't be seen. Ryan wouldn't find this. 

Minutes later, Fallz, Cheryl, Omega and Lotti walked out to the garden. Ryan, and the MadHouse ghost behind them. 

"It's nice to see you floating around the MadHouse again, my ghostly friend. What made you decide to show yourself today?" Ryan asked. 

"Just wanted to hang with my BFF, Cheryl. And the rest of your crazy peeps, of course. By 'peeps,' I mean friends, not that horrible marshmallow chicken you made me possess and dance around the house during Easter. Never again, bro." the MadHouse ghost shuddered. 

"Cheryl, you and Ray are BFFs? I hurt. I thought that was me!" Ryan turned to the blushing Vagabond, jokingly looking offended. 

Lotti gave Ryan a hug. "I'll be your BFF, Ryan." 

Fallz followed suit and gave the Mad King a hug. "Me, too!" 

Ryan chuckled and accepted both hugs. "I'm best friends with all my Vagabonds. Tuxedo Ghost over here likes to pick favorites." 

"Hey. I didn't choose the BFF life. The BFF life chose me...and Cheryl." Cheryl gave him a high 5. 

Omega walked up to me, and smirked. "So, did you do it?"

"Oh, I didn't do anything. The Caretaker Flora did it. My hands are clean!" I chuckled. 

"All righty. Let's just see what happens, then. Good luck, my friend." 

Things went on as normal in the garden. I'm surprised Ryan came out of his room so quickly. You'd think he'd be playing with the hooks all day. But, even hook-obsessed murderers needed a break. We've spent a good half hour in the garden, picking the fruit and vegetables that grew there, watering the plants, and watering ourselves. With water balloons. And water guns. And a hose. We had a water fight, all right?

After the fun, Ryan looked exhausted. He was panting and sat in the shade provided by the Caretaker Flora. It cared a lot about the members of the MadHouse and wanted to make them as comfortable as possible. 

"Are you okay, Ryan?" Fallz asked, sharing the same shade to relax and play her video game. 

"I'll be okay after a rest. Thanks for you concern, Fallz." Ryan smiled lightly. After resting for a second, he slowly looked up. Above the Caretaker Flora. What was he looking at?

"Uhh....Ryan, what's up?" Lotti asked. 

"The sky, duh." Omega joked. Lotti just rolled her eyes and shoved him playfully; kinda her way of booing that joke.

"Hold on a minute." Ryan concentrated on that one spot and decided to make his move. He stood up and walked up to a tree. He sized the tree up and down. Oh, no. Was he about to climb the damn thing?!

He's climbing the damn thing! Ryan aka The Mad King can climb trees! We've always joked about him needed a parachute for climbing, just in case he fell. But, since we knew he didn't have one on his person, the Vagabonds in the garden all made a circle around the tree. Out of interest and out of safety. 

He sat on a thick branch and scooted his way over to where the leaves were. What could he be-? Oh, no. Oh, God damn it!

"Ryan! Get down from there! You're gonna get hurt! Please come down!" I yell, trying to get him off the tree.

"Just one second, Tabby. Something has caught my attention." He reaches in a bunch of leaves and pulls out a Diet Coke can. "What is this doing up in a tree?"

I stood there, dumbfounded. How did he find that?! How?? He then jumped down from the tree, cracked the can open and started drinking the Diet Coke goodness he's just found somehow. I facepalmed and sighed. 

Omega looked at me and started laughing. "Yes! Yes! I told you! You wanna give him Just Dance 4 or Just Dance Summer Party first?" he said smugly. 

I grumbled under my breath. He found one, but there's 3 more to go!

\----------------------------

The second hiding. 

Surely, he couldn't find 2 cans if they were hidden, right? Right?? 

Later on that day, I snuck over to the weapons room and unlocked it. No way in the world he'd look in here. 

The MadHouse ghost suddenly appeared behind me. "Yo. You missed blazing time. What the hell? Cheryl had to party it up without you."

I chuckled. "Sorry, man. I was too busy trying to figure out how to stump Ryan. How he managed to climb a tree and get it, I'll never know. But, I gotta think outside the box. I gotta think dangerously. And I think I've got this now." I opened the box where the chainsaw is kept and hid one can in there. 

"Uhhh...Katz, you wanna chop off his fingers while you're at it? Because I can totally see that happening. And I don't wanna see it. Not a fan, m8." the MadHouse ghost said. 

"Ryan will be fine. I'm not gonna hurt him! You worry too much!" I start feeling along the wall until I push in a brick on the wall. A secret lever appeared which when pulled, opened a trap door. So, I pulled it and the trap door by the front doors of the MadHouse opened. I tossed the other can down there and pulled the lever again, closing the door. "There. He's not gonna find them now. Victory is as good as mine."

As I left the weapons room, two very fast blurs sped past me and closed the door. I'll give you one guess who that was. I banged on the door. "Jess! King! Damn it! Open the door!" 

Joe, who was swinging from the chandelier again, jumped down and landed next to me. "Omega went to eat, but he told me to check on your little bet. How's it going?"

I groaned. "I don't know, because the 2 weapon happy Vagabonds just ran in the room. And now, I can't get in."

"Hey, monkey boy! What's up, man? Getting tired of bananas yet?" Ghost Ray smirked. 

"You can never get tired of bananas, my friend. Never!" Joe chuckled. 

As I went to bang on the door again, it swung open and almost hit me in the face. "Jesus! Be careful!" 

Jess stepped out the room, holding a chainsaw. She revved it up and looked pretty happy while doing it. "Oh, yeah. This feels nice... Perfect for Dead by Daylight murdering. There's gonna be some slicing tonight!" 

"Yep. I'm glad I'm dead at this point." the MadHouse ghost deadpanned. 

"Now, now, Jess. You're just practicing. The real deal isn't until this weekend. You'll have plenty of time to slice and dice then." Ryan? What's he doing in the weapons room? Guess that other figure wasn't King after all. 

*CRACK!* 

Ryan sauntered out the room, drinking from a Diet Coke can. After his few gulps, he sighed in satisfaction. Wait. Diet Coke can? GOD DAMN IT! HOW?! 

"R-Ryan! How'd you find that can??" I asked in shock. 

He just shrugged. "I had this twitchy feeling when I walked past here. Then, I asked Jess to assist me, just in case my instinct told me something was wrong. On the way here, we started talking about our DBD competition and how exciting the matches would be. Jess and I raced into the weapons room and I went straight for the chainsaw box. Guess my instinct was right! I've found another one of my Diet Coke cans! Why do they seem to be in such odd places lately?" Ryan asked. I just looked away and chuckled. 

"Gee, I have no idea. Absolutely no idea at all!" I glared at Joe, who just laughed at me and took out his phone. 

"I've gotta tell Omega this. He's gonna love it."

"Tell him what? Is something going on?" Ryan asked. 

I quickly shook my head. The last thing I needed was Ryan finding out about this. "Nope! Nope. Everything is fine. I chuckled nervously. 

Jess pouted. "Aww, man. I wanted to use this a bit early. Hey, Tabby. Come here." She gave a mischievous glare and started running after me with the chainsaw. 

"JESS! GET AWAY FROM ME!" I yell, running away from the crazy chainsaw wielder. 

Joe just laughed and started recording this chase on his phone. "Yep. Omega is gonna see this And maybe YouTube will, too."

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE, JOE!" I exclaim. Suddenly, I stop running. I can't feel anything under me! I look down and realize I'm falling through the trap door!

*THUD!*

I get up and rub the back of my head. Ow, that hurt! But, why was the trap door open, anyway? I thought I've closed it earlier!

"Ah, there it is." I look up and see Ryan climbing down the hole. He jumps off the ladder and picks up a Diet Coke can. HOW?! He then opened it and started to drink from it. And we're both still down here. 

"Well, let's go, Tabby. The sooner we get out of here, the sooner you can dance the night away in your room. I would join you, but, uh...I have 2 left feet." Ryan chuckled as he climbed out of the trap door. 

Before I could leave, Joe looked down at me and took a picture on his phone. "How's it going, Edgar?" he laughed. 

I groaned and made my way out. I had one more chance to stump him. One more chance to hide a Diet Coke where he couldn't find it. And I think I know just the place...

\--------------------------

The third (and final) hiding.

It was night time now, and the MadHouse Ghost was hanging out with Cheryl, Fallz, Joe and Omega in my room. I was playing a round of Just Dance 2016. Before that, I hid the final Diet Coke can in the MadHouse buried under my collection of plushies. No way was he getting this one! There's a mountain of Hello Kitty plushies on my bed. Good luck, Mad King. 

One of my favorite songs was "Uptown Funk," and I even saw Ghost Ray bust out some moves. Cheryl also noticed this and giggled. "Wow. You can really dance!"

"I mean, I got those ghost moves. You know what I'm saying? Moves like Jagger. Except he's still alive. But, you get the idea" he replied, dancing in front of the screen to try to mess me up. Luckily, I had this dance memorized. 

"Ray! Let Tabby dance!" Cheryl giggled. 

"I'm showing her the right way to do it. See? I'm helping." he winked at me. I just rolled my eyes. 

Joe was eating a banana and probably threw the banana peel in some random place, I dunno. He's never really careful about where he leaves his banana peels. Then again, he is a Ninja Monkey. 

There was a knock on the door and Fallz got up from my bed to answer it. It was the Mad King himself! But, why is he visiting me? "Good evening, all. I felt this strange urge to come here tonight. Might I ask where the party is?"

"The party don't start until the MadHouse ghost floats in. You know that." Ghost Ray smirked. 

"Well, Tik Tok is on Just Dance 2. I could just put that in right n-" I started to say, but then Ryan zoomed right to my bed.

"Ryan, what are you doing?" Fallz asked as he started throwing my plushies off my bed and onto the floor. Some of them hit me in the back and others pelted Joe and Omega. Like I said, there's a mountain of cute softness on my bed.

Then, it hit me. I know what he's doing. And I have to stop him. "RYAN! Don't look over there!! Don't g- AHHHHH!!!" I ran to stop him and then tripped on that damned banana peel Joe didn't throw away. Luckily, Omega caught me before I hit the floor. It looked like we were posing at the end of a dance.

"Are you okay, Ms. Dancing Queen?" he smirked. 

"Yeah. I'm fine. Thanks, Omega." I chuckled as he helped me stand back up. But, my smile quickly faded as I heard the familiar sound of a can of soda opening. Yep. He found the last one. 

"Damn it, Ryan! I've been trying all day to hide those from you! How did you do it??" I asked with obvious signs of frustration. 

"Ryan: 3, the Katz: one big, fat donut. Hmm. I could go for a donut. I'm off to the kitchen. Laters." the MadHouse Ghost muttered and slowly disappeared. 

Ryan shrugged and took another sip of the Diet Coke. "I mean...I've been drinking this stuff for a long time, Tabby. There's enough Diet Coke in my blood where I can sense where it hides. Think of it as that Pokemon GO game you guys have been playing for weeks now. Except instead of little monsters, it's diet soda. And I don't need a phone to track it down. You know, the MadHouse Ghost has done this to me a few years ago. He'd hide my Diet Coke cans around the house and I was pulled every which way to find them again. So, this was nothing new. If anything, I thank you for bringing such an entertaining game back into the MadHouse, Tabby. It's made my day much more interesting." He smiled at me and patted my head.

"You're welcome, Ryan. Glad I could help!" I said. I soon heard a sinister chuckle next to me. It was Omega. And I knew what he wanted. 

"Well, it looks like he found all 4 cans. And you had such confidence that he'd fail. For shame, Tabitha." he shook his head at me. "I hope you like Dance Central, because you won't have your Just Dance games for a week, my friend." 

I gasped in horror as Omega collected my Just Dance collection and gave it to Ryan. Before Ryan could leave with my reason for gaming in the first place, he stopped and looked at me.

"You know...I've always wanted to try this game out. How about we play a few rounds before I lock these up?"

Ryan wanted to play Just Dance?? "But, I thought you had 2 left feet!" I gasped in shock. 

"I do! But, I'm suddenly in the mood to compete against the fabled Just Dancing Queen. And who am I as a Mad King to resist such a challenge? Your Majesty, may I have this dance?" he spoke in his MK voice and put my games back on my bed. He held his hand out to me and I accepted it instantly. 

"Of course, Your Mad Highness. Just, uh...don't accidentally step on my feet." I chuckled. 

"I can't make any promises, dear. But, let's give it a try. It is your last Just Dance of the week, after all." 

I groaned and pushed him mockingly. Might as well enjoy this extra dancing time I've been given. I'll be torturing myself with Dance Central for the next week. And it was all thanks to Diet Coke. 

Ugh! This is why I'm on #TeamPepsi!


End file.
